I Wish I'd Known
by OITNBReader
Summary: Post series finale. Jane and Maura cope with the distance and the feelings they've always avoided.
1. Chapter 1

I had this idea today and had to get it out. It's set after the series finale and for the purposes of this story, Angela still lives in the guest house. I think that's all you need for now :)

* * *

Jane turned down the volume on her television as she reached for her cell phone.

"Hey, Ma," she said.

"Hi, sweetie, how was your day?"

"It was OK. I just had a couple classes. They went well."

"That's good. Janie, do you think this whole moving to Virginia thing was a good idea?"

"Really? What do you mean? Aren't you thrilled that I've not had to take down a perp or been shot at in the past five weeks?"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course I am!"

"Then what's this about, Ma?"

"I'm worried about Maura."

Jane bolted off her couch and began pacing through her apartment.

"What about Maura? What happened? Is she okay?"

"She's ok, she's not physically hurt. But, sweetie, she's sad. Really sad."

Jane's eyes stung with tears.

"It's like...Honey, were you and Maura ever…more than friends?"

Jane ran her fingers through her hair. She could write ten books on the answer to that question. It was a line she and Maura had crept up to, but had never actually crossed; most recently during their month in Paris. Lingering touches and longing looks had increased, but their trip ended before either of them broached the subject. Jane moved to Virginia convinced that it would never happen and it was finally time to move on. She thought she and Maura had missed their chance.

"It would be okay, you know. You girls were always so close." Angela's voice was supportive; comforting.

Jane shook her head with regret. "No, Ma. We've always just been friends. Best friends."

"Oh. I was asking because it's like...it's like she has a broken heart. So I thought maybe you two…"

"No, Ma," Jane said quietly.

"I've never seen her like this before. I can tell she's not sleeping well. I think she's even lost a few pounds. Some weekends I never even see the lights on in the house, I think she spends the whole time in her room."

Silent tears fell down Jane's cheeks at the thought of Maura being so unhappy.

"But...but she always sounds happy on the phone. She tells me about the classes she's signed up for, the cases she's consulting on, about helping at Hope's clinic. She's never mentioned…"

"She wouldn't mention it. She knows how important this new job is to you. She doesn't want you to worry. And I'm sure when you're talking to her she _is _happy. All those classes she's taking – some days she does so much and works so hard she doesn't have time to think. I think it's a distraction. Then when the distractions don't work, she doesn't seem to leave her room."

Jane sunk back into her couch and took a steadying breath.

"I had no idea. I didn't know she…" Jane let out a quiet sob. "Maura…"

"I know, baby. I didn't want to have to tell you. I knew she would be sad when you left, but I thought after a couple weeks, she'd come around. She only seems to get sadder. We all still spend time with her and we've had Rizzoli family dinner every Sunday, but it's not the same for her without you here."

"I need to see her. We have a break week after next, I'll come up then. Damn, I wish I could come sooner, but I want to be able to stay longer than a weekend. I need to stay longer than a weekend."

"I think that'll be good, Janie."

"I'll be sure to text and call her more often until then. Don't tell her I'm coming. I want to surprise her. I'm serious, Ma, don't tell her." Everyone knew Angela Rizzoli's reputation when it came to keeping secrets.

Jane began to mentally plan her trip and think about what she wanted to say to Maura.

"I won't, I won't. I'll keep it to myself. I'll let you go. Good night, honey. See you soon. I love you."

"Love you too, Ma. Good night."

Jane didn't move for several minutes. She sat and thought about what Angela had said. She couldn't bear the thought of Maura being so sad. She'd give anything to be in Boston right now. Anything to see Maura. To make her smile. To hold her.

Jane kicked her coffee table. "I'm an idiot," she grumbled angrily at herself. I need to fix this, she thought. "I'm going to fix this. I've wasted too much time without her."


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all so much for the encouraging reviews! It was lovely to read such nice words. I'm glad you guys are enjoying this story. I have it all mapped out for the most part. It won't be terribly long, but they'll for sure be a few more chapters. This chapter isn't really plot heavy, but it's necessary to move the story forward. Happy reading!

* * *

Jane continued to sit on her couch and think about the conversation she had just had with her mother. She'd never admit it to Angela, but if Jane was honest with herself, she knew that her life right now closely resembled Maura's. Jane had thrown herself into her new job, often staying late or going in early. She spent most of her free time at the gym. She didn't have anyone to socialize with outside of work. She knew it wasn't healthy, but she thought she could deal with it if it meant Maura was happy and moving on. All of this was okay if Maura was happy. Maura still had her friends and family in Boston, a job she loved. Jane had no idea Maura was having such a difficult time. Jane knew Angela was right; Maura didn't want her to worry, so she didn't tell Jane about how she was doing. It hurt, but she understood. Hell, Jane was doing the same thing. She didn't want Maura to know how unhappy she was. _We're quite a pair_, Jane chuckled to herself. The negative paths their lives had taken individually only further confirmed to Jane that she and Maura belonged together.

Jane began to put her plan into motion. She didn't want to ambush Maura with what Angela had shared with her, but Jane could at least make sure Maura knew, without a doubt, how much she was loved and that she wasn't alone. It was Thursday. That meant Maura would be at Hope's clinic tonight. Still holding her cell phone, Jane opened the messaging app and clicked on Maura's text message thread.

Jane: Hey! Can you call me when you get home from the clinic tonight?

Maura: Hello, Jane! Of course. Is everything all right?

Jane: Yep :)

Jane next set out to ensure Maura would be able to take time off of work during her visit. She wanted to spend as much time with the doctor as possible. Jane shot Kent an email explaining her surprise visit and asking for his help in covering enough of the duties to allow Maura to take a few days off.

Jane then booked her trip to Boston. She lucked out and found a cheap last minute flight into town, but she'd have to drive back to Virginia. She figured that was actually perfect since it gave her some flexibility on when she could head back. She already knew she was going to have a hard time leaving Maura again and would wait until the last possible minute to do so.

Later that night when Jane heard her cell phone ringing she looked over and saw one of her favorite pictures of Maura staring back at her. She couldn't help but smile.

"Good evening, Doctor."

"Hello, Jane. How are you?"

"Good, good. How was the clinic tonight? Any good stuff? Anyone get anything stuck somewhere they shouldn't have?"

Maura laughed at her friend's ridiculous question. "No, Jane, only acceptable items were found in our patients' orifices."

"Ew! Maura! Really?"

Maura laughed again. It was just too easy. "Flu season appears to have started early here in Boston. Many of our patients this evening complained of nasal congestion, nausea, and…_other_ stomach maladies."

"I appreciate your discretion."

"Mm-hmm. It's wonderful to hear from you, Jane."

"Yeah, we haven't talked today, so I thought I'd call. I just wanted to see how you were doing. You're doing all right?"

"Yes, I'm doing very well, thank you."

Jane wondered if this could count as a lie. She had no idea how Maura was defining "well." At least she could hear the smile in Maura's voice and knew that in this precise moment she in fact was doing well.

"That's good. Hey, I was wondering how many times you've been to the Hyman Bloom exhibition at the MFA? I saw some posts about it on Facebook."

"Oh…" Maura paused briefly to gather her thoughts before responding. "I've not made it to the MFA recently. I'm looking forward to it though. I hear it's quite extraordinary."

Bingo. Jane didn't like the idea of asking Maura these sneaky questions, but she needed to corroborate what Angela had told her. (Once a detective, always a detective). She knew her mother was telling her the truth, but she needed to hear it from Maura. The fact that Maura hadn't been to this exhibition was a big deal. About eight months ago, when the exhibition was announced, Maura had Googlemouthed Jane's ear off for 18 straight minutes (Jane timed it) about it and had conveyed numerous times since then how excited she was to attend the exhibition. It had opened nearly three weeks ago and still Maura had not been. It was very out of character for her. If she was still in Boston, Jane knew that Maura probably would have dragged her to the exhibition at least twice by now.

"How come? You were so excited for it to open!"

Jane noticed Maura pause again. She knew Maura was carefully crafting her answer to avoid a lie.

"I was excited for it. I still am! I've—I've just been working a lot."

Vague. Jane knew she was being intentionally vague. Maura wasn't lying, but she wasn't fully answering the question either. Jane just nodded her head, understanding what Maura was really saying and knowing the real reason why Maura had not been to the exhibition yet. Jane knew how much Maura would love that exhibition. She decided she would take Maura to the exhibition when she came to town. She'd take Maura every day if that's what Maura wanted.

They spoke for about another forty minutes, the conversation flowing easily between them like it always did. When they ended their conversation, Jane's tone was more serious than usual.

"I miss you so much, Maura. You know that, right?"

Jane thought that maybe if she was more open with how she was feeling Maura would follow suit and open up to her as well.

Maura was caught off guard my Jane's honesty. She blinked back the tears that sprung to her eyes. "I know. I miss you very much as well, Jane."

Jane went to bed that night thinking her trip to Boston couldn't come fast enough.

* * *

The Hyman Bloom exhibition is actually at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston right now. The MFA website says Bloom's paintings depict "the human body after death, of autopsies, skeletal trees, and archeological excavations." Check it out real quick, if you have the time. It's something Maura TOTALLY would have geeked out over. It's so her. The idea that she wouldn't even go because she was so sad kind of broke my heart.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi, everyone! Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews! Happy reading!

* * *

Thankfully for Jane the next two weeks went by rather quickly. She couldn't wait to see Maura. They had had some really great conversations recently and Jane was more confident than ever of her future with Maura.

After their phone call two Thursdays ago, Jane had made a point of calling and texting Maura more often. She was thrilled that after about four days of her initiating more contact, Maura began to do the same. Jane loved the little random things Maura shared with her throughout the day. She forgot how much she missed the doctor's adorable quirks.

Updates from her family made Jane feel like she was walking on air. Frankie had let her know that Maura went out to lunch with him and Nina and had joined them at The Dirty Robber last Friday after work. These were both things Maura hadn't done since Jane left. Angela was beginning to see changes as well.

"Oh, Janie, it's so wonderful to see her smile," Angela had told her one night. "It's still not quite the same, but I feel like she's starting to come around."

Jane's heart beat a little faster every time someone mentioned Maura doing better. Jane could tell too. She could hear it in Maura's voice when they spoke on the phone. She could see it in Maura's eyes when they FaceTimed. Jane wasn't foolish enough to think that she alone was responsible for Maura's improved demeanor, but it warmed her heart to know that her presence in Maura's life made the doctor so happy. Jane loved that role. Making Maura happy felt completely natural to her. Jane knew she wanted to be the one to make Maura happy for the rest of their lives.

* * *

It was finally the day of her surprise trip. Jane was so excited she had to stop herself from getting to the airport ridiculous early. After a couple of months of just going through the motions, she finally felt like she was living. She was finally so close to the life she wanted, she felt as though she could reach out and grab it. After this week, nothing would ever be the same and Jane couldn't wait.

Frankie met Jane in the lobby and escorted her down to the morgue before word of her visit got out. Thanks to Kent, Jane knew Maura was in her office and not in the middle of an autopsy. Jane couldn't believe how nervous she was. Well, nervous and excited. Either way, her heart was beating wildly. Jane chuckled at the thought that _she_ might go vasovagal.

She took a deep breath as she reached Maura's open office door and then everything just… stopped. Jane's heart rate slowed. The noises from the lab across the hall faded away. Everything ceased to be, except for Maura. There was only Maura. It was always only Maura. Jane stood quietly in the doorway and observed the doctor for a moment. Sitting just a few feet away from her was the most wonderful, loving, and beautiful person in the world. Jane was briefly overcome with emotion, but regained her composure. She watched as Maura diligently filled out her paperwork. She watched as Maura grabbed another file and read over a report. She watched as a strand of honey blonde hair came loose and Maura reached up to put it behind her ear. It took all of Jane's restraint to not run into the office and take Maura into her arms. One more deep breath.

"Excuse me, Dr. Isles?"

Maura froze. Pen still in hand, she slowly raised her head until her eyes met those of the tall brunette in her doorway.

"Jane…" Maura said in disbelief.

A shy smile blossomed across Jane's face.

"Hey, Maur."

Maura suddenly stood and walked towards Jane, each step faster than the previous until she was close enough to throw herself into the arms of her best friend. Jane eagerly wrapped her arms around the doctor and held her tightly.

"You're here. You're really here."

"I'm really here."

Jane relished the feeling of their bodies pressed together. She never wanted to let go. Jane's brow furrowed as she could feel that Angela had been right – Maura had lost a little bit of weight. Jane sighed and held Maura even tighter, angry at herself for causing her love so much pain.

Eventually Jane made a move to pull away, but Maura immediately tightened her grip.

"No!" Maura said a bit too loudly. She swallowed and softened her voice. "I'm sorry…It's just…" Her tears finally fell. "It's been so long. Just a few more minutes. Is that okay?"

Jane smiled and pressed a kiss to Maura's temple.

"As long as you want."

In time, Maura pulled away and looked up into those dark brown eyes again. Jane wiped the tears from Maura's cheeks.

"I'm so happy. I wish I knew you were coming. I would have cleared my schedule."

Jane smirked.

"Well, you kind of already did."

Maura gave her a confused look.

"I emailed Kent a couple weeks ago and told him I was coming into town to surprise you. He's been really helpful getting things ready for your week off. I think he's still kinda scared of me."

"A week? You're staying a whole week?" Maura couldn't help the smile that stretched from ear to ear.

"Mm-hmm. That's my plan. I was going to drive back down a week from Sunday. So I guess that's nine days, technically."

"Even better," Maura gushed.

"And Kent said you'd still have emails and phone calls to—"

"It's okay," Maura cut her off. "It's worth it."

Jane's eyes sparkled and her smile matched Maura's. God, she wanted to lean in and capture those perfect lips between her own. _Soon_, Jane reminded herself.

"Can we go now?" Maura asked brightly.

Jane laughed. "Not quite. Your week – ahem, _nine_ days off – don't actually start until noon today. And it is," Jane looked at her watch, "11:37. You want to finish up some things while I go see Frankie and Nina?"

Maura nodded in agreement. "Yes, there are some things I should take care of before my leave. Why don't you come back down when you're finished with your visit?"

Jane agreed and hugged Maura one more time before heading towards the elevators. Maura watched her go, that familiar swagger she loved so much still in tact. Her stomach filled with butterflies as a lifetime of memories came flooding back. The best memories of her life. The happiest moments of her life…and the scariest. Maura shook her head to clear her thoughts. _Every meaningful moment of my life has involved Jane_, Maura thought to herself. She'd always known that, but the absence of her best friend in her daily life had affected Maura in ways she still hadn't processed. Now that Jane was here, Maura couldn't imagine her leaving again. She knew that this was their chance. _I have to tell her. I have to tell her all of the things I've been too scared to say. _


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you everyone for the continued reviews and follows! And to the guests who I'm not able to reply to, please know that I read and appreciate all of your reviews! So here we are - the chapter many of you have been waiting for. I hope it lives up to your expectations. Here we go...!

* * *

Arriving back at the Beacon Hill home Friday afternoon felt surreal. It had been months since Jane was here and yet it felt like only yesterday. She looked briefly around the home as she put her bags down and felt a lump rise in her throat. She swallowed and blinked a few times, embarrassed to be so emotional over a house. But she knew it was more than that. For several years, this house had felt more like a home than any other place she'd ever lived. _And I've never even actually lived here_, Jane smiled to herself. She had no idea she'd gotten so lost in her thoughts until she heard Maura calling her.

"Jane? Did you hear what I asked?"

"Hmm? What? No, sorry, Maur."

"What is it?" Maura's eyebrows knitted together in concern.

"Oh, nothing." Jane ran her fingers through her hair. "Nothing, it's just this house. It—it feels like home. It always has."

Maura felt her heart swell. "Especially when you're here."

The women shared a smile before Jane spoke again.

"What did you say? What did I miss?"

"Oh, I was simply interested in what you would like to do for the rest of the day."

Jane walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water; still knowing exactly where everything was.

"Well, I know it's not terribly exciting, but I'd really like it if we could have a typical Jane and Maura Friday night. Like if we had just finished a big case. Couch, take out, wine, beer, documentary or some awful foreign film that you love? Could we do that?"

"Of course. I would like that very much. However, I must say, we've never watched an awful foreign film."

Jane rolled her eyes at her best friend.

"We won't be couch potatoes all week. I have big plans for us tomorrow. Just you wait."

"Is that so? And are you going to tell me what these plans are?" Maura placed her hand on her hip.

Jane shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I'll make you…_guess_! Dun dun dun!"

Maura tried her best to give the brunette a stern look, but failed miserably and laughed at Jane's antics.

"You're incorrigible," she said as she poked the detective in the stomach. Maura reached for her phone and walked quickly out of the room. "I hope it's still funny when you're eating the kale salad I'm ordering you," she called out over her shoulder.

"Maura! What? No!" Jane yelled as she took off after her friend.

* * *

And so a typical Jane and Maura Friday night is exactly what they had. They sat on the couch, Maura with her wine, Jane with her beer (that Maura still continued to stock in her refrigerator), ate take out (Jane compromised and let Maura order her a side salad to go along with her burger and fries) and watched documentaries (no weird foreign films, which Jane was thankful for). As the night wore on the women found that they had unintentionally moved closer to one another on the couch. It was like a magnetic pull. The last thing either of them remember was sitting side by side, sharing a blanket, as Maura rested her head on Jane's shoulder.

Maura was the first to awake the following morning. She opened her eyes and immediately saw Jane. They had fallen asleep on the couch, each on their side, facing one another; arms and legs tangled together as they apparently tried to get comfortable in such a narrow space.

Maura watched Jane sleep; her eyes greedily taking in every inch of her best friend's features. Jane looked peaceful. _You're so beautiful_, Maura thought to herself. She loved quiet moments like this – just her and Jane. Even if Jane wasn't awake yet, she loved when it was just the two of them. _I want a lifetime of these moments_. _I need her with me always._ Maura took a deep breath as she set her mind to what she needed to do; what she should have done years ago. _Tomorrow. Tomorrow after family dinner I will tell my best friend, the person that is my everything, that I love her above all else. I will tell her that I am madly in love with her. I will tell her that even if she doesn't feel the same way, she will always have me as her best friend. _As she thought about the grand proclamation she had just made to herself, Maura realized she didn't feel nervous or scared. If she had to be completely honest, she felt rather confident. Reminiscing upon their relationship, especially their time in Paris, Maura felt, deep down, that Jane felt the same way. _Jane would say that was my gut talking. _Maura didn't want to get too ahead of herself, but she let that light of hope in her heart shine a little brighter.

She reached out her hand and lightly ran her finger along the bridge of Jane's nose. Jane's face wiggled from the touch and Maura suppressed a laugh. Maura did this a few more times, thoroughly enjoying all the adorable little facial ticks Jane was making. She ran her finger down Jane's nose again, but this time she began to sing Jane's name in a whisper.

"Jaaaaane….Jaaaaane…"

Jane grunted and opened one eye. She was immediately struck by how happy and pleased with herself Maura appeared to be. Jane smirked.

"Mauuuuura…Mauuuuura…" Jane echoed.

"You're up! Good morning, detective."

"You mean professor, doctor_._"

Maura considered this.

"Perhaps. But you'll always be my detective."

Maura felt the heat in her cheeks reflect the same light pink blush she saw on Jane's features. They had been having a lot of these little moments and Jane was trying her best to not brush them aside with a joke or sarcastic comment. She smiled sweetly at Maura.

"I like that," she said softly.

"So, are you going to tell me where we're going today?"

"You'll know soon enough, Dr. Impatient. What time is it?"

"Nearly eight."

"Perfect. We need to leave at about 9:40. Let's make breakfast and get going. I'm excited!"

Maura eyed Jane suspiciously, but she couldn't help feeling excited too.

Today was the day. Today Jane was going to tell Maura she was in love with her. As she got ready that morning, Jane couldn't believe how dramatically her life would change in just a few hours. _In 12 hours, I could have everything I've ever wanted_, Jane thought. She couldn't keep the smile off of her face.

* * *

"We're going to the MFA?" Maura asked as Jane pulled into a parking space.

"Nothing gets by you, doctor," Jane teased.

"But you don't like the MFA."

"No, but you do."

The women got out of the car and walked towards the museum.

"And," Jane continued as she placed her hand on the small of Maura's back and guided her through the museum doors, "since the museum just opened, you have all day to spend at the Hyman Bloom exhibition."

Maura's face broke out into a wide smile. "Really?!" She bounced on her heels excitedly. "All day?"

_I'll take her to the museum every day if it means I get to see that smile_, Jane thought.

Jane found so much joy in Maura's excitement. "All day. They close at five, so you have seven hours if you want it."

Maura jumped into Jane's arms. "What a wonderful surprise! Thank you, Jane!"

Jane spent the day watching Maura wander through the museum like a kid in a candy store. She wasn't sure Maura ever took a breath, she excitedly rambled off facts and stories all day; her Google-mouth working at a rate even Jane had never before witnessed.

Her favorite moments of the day were when Maura would suddenly get excited about a new art piece and grab Jane's hand or interlink her arm with Jane's and pull her along to the next portrait. Sometimes Jane would take a chance and intertwine her fingers with Maura's as they walked through the halls. Her heart raced every time Maura squeezed her hand in return or softly rubbed her thumb over Jane's.

"Are you sure you're ready to go? It's only four," Jane said.

Maura looked again through the guidebook they received when they came in.

"Yes, I believe so. I've seen all of my favorite galleries and more. We've even gone through the Hyman Bloom exhibition twice. It's been wonderful. Thank you so much, Jane. This really was a terrific surprise."

"You're very welcome," Jane smiled down at the smaller woman as they walked back towards the car. "But it's not your only surprise today."

"Really?"

"Really! We have dinner reservations for seven. This gives us plenty of time to get ready once we get home."

_Home_.

"Oh, Jane!" Maura clasped her hands eagerly. "Are you going to tell me where this time?"

"Not a chance. All you need to know is that my dress is black and white, so you can plan accordingly."

"Dress?"

"That's right, Dr. Isles. A proper, grown up evening fit for the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts awaits you."

Maura looked over at Jane as a familiar warmth spread through her chest. She was so thankful for the woman beside her. She didn't know if she could ever fully express to Jane how she had changed and shaped Maura's life; how she had become the one thing Maura couldn't live without. _How could I not completely love her_, Maura wondered.

Jane noticed Maura staring at her.

"What?" Jane asked.

Maura froze. _Oh my god, did I say that out loud?_

"What?" Maura panicked.

Jane chuckled. "I don't know. What? You were staring, looked kinda zoned out."

Maura breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, I'm sorry, my thoughts must have gotten away from me. Thank you again for the museum, Jane."

Jane smiled broadly at her friend. "You're welcome, Maur."

* * *

Jane was pacing in the living room. It was 6:30 and Maura would be down any minute. Jane hadn't been nervous all day, but she felt the nerves creeping in the closer they got to dinner. _You can do this. It'll be okay. You can tell her. You _want_ to tell her. You're almost positive she feels the same way. You can do th_—Jane was in the middle of her pep talk when Maura walked down the stairs and Jane forgot how to breathe.

"Wow. You look really beautiful." Jane's voice was unsteady. She not so subtly raked her eyes over Maura's form. The sleeveless, deep crimson dress fit Maura perfectly. Her hair was down and in soft wavy curls. The nude heels made her legs look amazing.

Maura smiled, loving the way Jane looked at her. She even noticed Jane's pupils dilate. She ran her own eyes over Jane's body and tried to control her physical response. Jane had straightened her hair for tonight and worn more make up than usual.

"You're gorgeous, Jane."

They stood somewhat awkwardly just staring at each other until Jane cleared her throat and motioned towards the door.

"So, um, shall we?"

Maura nodded and grabbed her coat.

* * *

The restaurant was on the top floor, surrounded by windows. The view of the city and harbor at night was breathtaking.

"Jane, this is amazing." Maura couldn't take her eyes off of the view – or of the woman in front of her. This was already the best date she'd ever been on and she wasn't even sure if it was a date.

Jane listened intently as Maura began to point out various buildings and historical sites across Boston. She was always in awe of Maura's intelligence.

Dinner was perfect. It was full of longing looks and shy smiles. The conversation was easy, just like it always was. The wine Maura selected was exquisite. Their meals were delicious. Maura tried to reach for the bill when the waiter set it down, but Jane playfully swatted her hand away.

"Nope. My treat, Maur."

"Jane, I can—"

"My treat, Maur."

Maura couldn't resist the warm smile Jane gave her.

"Thank you, Jane."

When Maura excused herself to use the restroom, Jane fetched their coats and headed out to the terrace. _This is it,_ she said to herself. She rubbed her hands and took a few deep breaths.

When Maura returned from the restroom, she stepped out onto the terrace to join Jane.

"Come here."

Maura took Jane's outstretched hand and stepped in front of the brunette. Jane helped Maura into her coat and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman's waist. Jane rested her head against Maura's. It was moments like this when Jane loved their height difference. Maura placed her hands on top of Jane's as they both stood silently enjoying the view. Maura suddenly felt nervous, but she wasn't sure why. This felt like an important moment between her and Jane.

Jane had practiced some form of this speech a hundred times, but she suddenly didn't have a clue how to start. Part of her wanted to blurt out "I love you, marry me," but she knew that was absurd. She tried to stay positive. _Telling someone how much you love them should be a good thing_, she reminded herself. One more deep breath and…

"I shouldn't have moved to Virginia."

Maura waited; unsure if Jane was going to continue. When she didn't, Maura spoke.

"Why did you? I never really understood. I wanted to be supportive, of course, but I never understood. Not completely. You love Boston. Your life was here. Your family is here. I'm—I'm here. Surely you could have gotten a safer job in Boston to appease Angela. You didn't have to go to Virginia to do that. Why, Jane?"

Maura's question was fair. More than fair.

"Everyone was moving forward; had new adventures, and I was still just a detective. You were writing your book, Ma had Ron, Vince retired, Frankie and Nina got engaged. Everyone was _doing_ something. I felt…left behind, like I wasn't doing anything worthwhile. And it…it started to hurt to be here. It hurt so much to be here with you."

Jane felt Maura tense in her arms. Jane tightened her grip and placed a kiss to the side of Maura's head.

"I'm sorry, that sounded awful. Of course I loved being here with you. You're my favorite person. I loved every moment I spent with you. I _love_ every moment I spend with you. But…it started to hurt to not be able to spend time with you the way I wanted. I wanted—I _want_—to…God, why is this so hard?"

Maura ran her finger tips over Jane's hands. "It's okay. Tell me."

Jane closed her eyes and let go of everything that was holding her back.

"I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss you whenever I want. I want to wake up and see you sharing my pillow. I want to come home and make you dinner. I want you to cry on my shoulder when you're upset. I want to be the person you share good news with. I want these things and so many others with you, it'll take me years to list them all."

Maura turned in Jane's arms to face her best friend. She realized they were both crying.

"Maura, I want all of you. I want everything that is you. I want your brilliance and your beauty and your heart and your character and your quirks and your strength. I want you fully and completely because I love you. I love you so much it hurts."

"Oh, Jane…"

Maura wrapped her arms around the taller woman and held her tightly for several moments. Maura pulled away slightly so she could look into those dark brown eyes she was so fond of. She cupped Jane's cheek with her right hand.

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, Jane. You can have all of that with me if you promise I can have all of that with you. You are my person, Jane Rizzoli. I am sure of it. You are the other half of my heart and soul. I have loved you quietly and fiercely for many years. So, yes. If I may hold your hand, kiss you whenever I want, permit you to share my pillow, make you dinner, offer you my shoulder to cry on and if you share your good news with me, then yes."

Jane moved slowly towards Maura until their lips pressed together for the first time. The kiss was soft and delicate, their lips somehow already familiar with one another. Jane rested her forehead against Maura's.

"You've felt the same way? Why didn't you ever say anything?" Jane asked.

"I was scared. What if I told you and you didn't reciprocate my feelings? I was always so scared of losing your friendship. I just never had the courage."

"I had the same fears. I couldn't imagine losing you. You are always so honest and straightforward…You say the truth, even when it's hard. I know that if you could lie, you never would. So when you never said anything, I just thought my feelings could never be returned. I thought I was seeing something that wasn't really there."

"Oh, Jane, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"No, no, it's okay." Jane kissed Maura again. And then again, still in awe that she now could. "I'm sorry I wasn't braver for you."

Maura shook her head. "You know you're the bravest person I know. In Paris…Those last two weeks. I almost told you so many times…But the timing…"

"I know. Our time in Paris was when I finally convinced myself that you could feel the same way. It's what I kept thinking about the past couple of months. I had to try just once. I couldn't let you slip through my fingers like that."

Maura leaned forward and kissed Jane soundly. The feeling of Jane's tongue against hers for the first time sent a shiver down her spine.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, Maur."

They had no idea how long they stayed wrapped in each other's arms, slowly swaying to the soft music drifting out to the terrace from the restaurant.


	5. Chapter 5

As always, thank you so much to everyone who has followed, faved and/or left a review. I read all of them and they mean a great deal! Not a lot of plot here in the new chapter, we're just gonna marinate in that fluffy lovey dovey stuff for a minute. Happy reading!

* * *

"Now that I'm allowed to kiss and touch you, I don't think I can stop." Jane's lips made their way down Maura's neck.

"Good. I don't want you to stop," was Maura's breathy response.

The women had arrived back at the Beacon Hill home nearly fifteen minutes ago, but hadn't made it further than the foyer. As soon as they walked in, Maura's lips had found Jane's, setting off a rather heated make out session.

As her hips began rolling in rhythm with Maura's, Jane reluctantly pulled away.

"Maur…wait…I'm sorry."

Both women were breathing heavily. It took Maura a few seconds to regain her focus. She pulled her gaze away from Jane's mouth and looked up into the dark brown eyes staring down at her. Maura immediately sobered when she saw the look in Jane's eyes. They looked sad.

"What is it, Jane? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. Can we—I don't know if I'm ready to…I'm sorry."

Maura placed her hand on Jane's cheek.

"It's okay. Hey…Look at me. It's okay. Nothing has to happen tonight. I'm not in any hurry."

Jane silently nodded in response and looked down again.

"It's not that I don't want to…It's just …a lot has happened and I'm…I want to be able to just hold you and be with you before we…Is that okay?"

Maura smiled at Jane's sweet confession. She knew she was the only one who got to see this shy and vulnerable side of Jane.

Maura dipped her head slightly so Jane would look up and meet her eye line.

"I would like that."

"Really?" Jane couldn't hide her smile or the relief she felt.

"Of course," Maura nodded.

Jane kissed Maura lovingly before pulling back to look at her again.

"Thank you for understanding."

"You're welcome, but Jane, we're a team; now more than ever. If something is important to you, then it is important to me. I know it can be difficult for you, but please talk to me. I want to know what and how you're feeling."

Jane held Maura's gaze for several seconds.

"I'll do my best."

Maura smiled as her lips found Jane's once more.

* * *

Eventually they made it out of the foyer and up to Maura's bedroom. They lay in bed facing each other, each woman on her side. Jane draped her right arm over Maura's waist; Maura draped her left over Jane's.

"What's with the goofy grin, doctor?"

"I'm just happy," Maura said. "Aren't you happy, Jane?"

Jane's dimples deepened as her smile grew.

"I'm very happy, Maura."

"However—"

"However, she says," Jane huffed and playfully rolled her eyes.

"However, I must say that you robbed me of my thunder tonight."

Jane chuckled at Maura's misuse of the common expression.

"What?" Maura asked.

"I love when you do that."

"Do what?"

"Mix up common figures of speech."

Maura still looked confused.

"It's _stole_ your thunder, Maur. I apparently _stole_ your thunder tonight."

"I think my version works just as well and conveys the same sentiment."

"It does." Jane gave Maura a kiss. "But like I said, I love when you mix up phrases. I think it's adorable. I always have. I love that I can tell you that now."

Maura's face immediately lit up.

"You think I'm adorable?"

"Well now you're just fishing for compliments." Jane paused in an attempt to further tease her new girlfriend. "Of course I think you're adorable!"

They both laughed out loud.

"I think you're adorable too, Jane."

"Okay, okay," Jane blushed as she shook her head. "Back to the subject at hand. How did I steal your thunder tonight, Dr. Isles?"

Maura took a breath, suddenly nervous to tell Jane something she already knew.

"Well, after family dinner tomorrow night, I had intended on confessing my feelings for you."

"And I beat you to it."

"Yes. Thunder stolen."

"But, come on. I had a great reason, right?"

Maura shrugged nonchalantly.

"I suppose," she said with an air of indifference.

"Maura!" Jane proclaimed in mock offense.

They found themselves in another fit of laughter before finding each other's lips once more.

"It was a wonderful reason, Jane," Maura said, her tone turning more serious.

After a moment, Jane broke the silence.

"What were you going to say?"

"My intention was to tell you that I am in love with you. Wildly in love with you and that I have been for quite some time."

Jane smiled at Maura's confession. From Jane's own confession earlier in the evening, she now knew Maura felt the same way, but she was curious to hear Maura's point of view.

"What else?" Jane prompted her.

"As I said earlier this evening, I had been hesitant to share my feelings for fear of compromising our friendship. For a long time, I had been trying to convince myself that having you as a best friend was better than not having you at all, even if I desperately wanted more, and sometimes believed you might as well. The fear that our friendship would end or change if you knew my true feelings and didn't return them was paralyzing at times. You were – are – the most wonderful best friend, so I made that be enough. I'm not sure if you understand how important you are to me. You've…you've made my life, Jane.

Jane blinked back the tears in her own eyes as she watched Maura's tears roll down her cheeks.

"Maur…"

"You are my everything. You've shown me what true friendship is. You've shown me what it feels like to belong; how it feels to have a real family; how it feels to be safe; how it feels to be wanted and appreciated. You make me feel important – like what I do and who I am matters. The idea of losing you and this life you've given me," Maura wiped her cheeks and shook her head, "I couldn't. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't."

Jane leaned forward and kissed Maura soundly, pouring everything she felt for her girlfriend into the kiss.

"I love you so much. I wish I would have known. I wish I would have said something sooner. I hate to think that all this time you've been…I've been an idiot. I'm so sorry, Maur."

It was Maura that leaned forward this time to quiet her girlfriend with a kiss.

"It's okay, Jane. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. We were both scared. We didn't know. I still got to spend the last several years with you. For that, I will always be thankful."

Several minutes passed as they lay quietly, wrapped up in one another.

"What made you change your mind? Why were you finally going to tell me tomorrow night?"

"Paris. Similar to what you said earlier, I felt like something might happen in Paris. Then the last few weeks. Yesterday. It just felt different; like something shifted. It made me feel more confident. I began to hope, like I never have before, that maybe we were on the same page, after all."

The room was dark, but Jane could make out most of Maura's features. She studied the woman lying beside her.

"I'm lucky. I'm really, really lucky."

Maura cupped Jane's cheek and kissed her.

"I'm the lucky one. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Jane rolled onto her back, pulling the smaller woman with her. Maura nestled her head below Jane's chin and wrapped her arm around the brunette's mid-section. Maura smiled as she felt Jane press several soft kisses to the top of her head.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi, everyone! Thanks so much for your patience in getting this new chapter out. I finally got a new computer yesterday and it's amazing! So Jane arrived on Friday and we're now to Sunday. A lot has happened in our little world so far. Official Rizzles! Yay! I hope everyone is staying safe and taking care of one another. Enjoy the new chapter, and as always, thank you all for the support!

* * *

Jane was the first to wake the following morning. She opened her eyes and saw the back of Maura's head. She could feel the honey blonde's body pressed against her own. She tightened her arms around Maura and pulled her even closer. For a split-second Jane felt the familiar panic of doing something she probably shouldn't be doing with her platonic best friend, but the events of yesterday and last night quickly came back to her and she relaxed.

_I'm allowed to do this now_, she thought. _She's mine. I'm hers. I can do this - _Jane nuzzled her nose into Maura's soft hair. _And this -_ Jane placed a kiss to the side of Maura's neck. _And even this -_ Jane peppered kisses across Maura's shoulder.

Maura stirred and immediately smiled as she felt Jane's lips on her skin. She couldn't have been happier with her decision to wear a tank top last night.

"Jane…" Maura's voice was deep with sleep.

Jane began trailing kisses from Maura's shoulder, up to her neck and below her ear.

_And I can definitely do this_ she thought as she gently turned Maura towards her and greedily kissed her. Maura was momentarily surprised by Jane's forcefulness, but soon found her tongue sliding deliciously against the detective's.

"Well, good morning," Maura said after the heated kiss reached its end.

Jane kissed her once more before pulling away, but left her hand on Maura's cheek. Her eyes roamed Maura's face.

"I can't believe it," Jane said. "That's all I've been thinking since I woke up."

"Believe what?"

"After years of wishing I could wake up with you in my arms and kiss you good morning, I finally got to actually do it."

Maura gave Jane a chaste kiss.

"It was something I wished for too, Jane."

* * *

After a lazy morning of breakfast in bed, Jane and Maura decided to spend the day at Boston Common. The crisp autumn air, the leaves changing colors, it was a beautiful day. They wandered through the crafts festival and then made their way over to the farmer's market. It was Sunday, which meant Rizzoli Family dinner, so they stocked up on everything they would need for the big meal that night. It had to be "extra special" according to Maura because Jane was in town.

Maura, ever the scientist, felt like this excursion to The Common was providing her with so much new data she didn't know how to process it all. Seeing Jane in a new light was fascinating. Maura immediately picked up on how tactile Jane had become. Neither of them was particularly touchy feely with anyone, well, except each other, so it wasn't a complete surprise, but Maura nonetheless was incredibly curious about this new development.

She wasn't sure how keen Jane would be on public displays of affection, so she didn't make any move to hold Jane's hand or outwardly appear as though they were anything other than just friends. Maura was thrilled when Jane reached for her hand just a few blocks from the house, before they had even reached The Common.

"This okay?" Jane asked.

"Of course." Maura squeezed Jane's hand reassuringly.

Maura observed how each time they were separated – looking at different items, making purchases – Jane always found her way back to Maura. She'd come back and place her hand on the small of Maura's back or reach for her hand again. Maura's favorite was when Jane was speaking to a brewery vendor. Maura found her this time and intentionally stood just out of Jane's reach, pretending to read the label on a local ale. Without breaking eye contact with the vendor or stopping her conversation, Jane reached out for Maura. Maura smiled slyly at Jane's actions and moved just close enough for Jane to place her hand on Maura's hip. Jane wrapped a finger around one of Maura's belt loops and gently pulled her closer until they were standing side by side, each with one arm around the other.

* * *

They found a small table in the back of a café to take a break.

Jane took off her coat and draped it across the back of her chair.

"Do you want a tea, Maur?"

"Yes, please."

"Be right back."

Jane gave Maura a quick kiss on the cheek before heading up to the counter to place their order. Maura smiled as she watched her girlfriend walk away. She sat down and looked out the window. She watched other couples and families walk by. She placed her hand to the cheek Jane had kissed and felt the all too familiar warmth spread through her chest.

"My girlfriend," Maura whispered to herself.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear Jane return.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"The scones," Jane said motioning towards the plate she had placed in front of Maura. "They had those maple ones you love."

"Thank you, Jane."

They sat for a few moments drinking their tea and watching the crowd.

"I'd like to tell everyone at dinner," Jane said.

Maura froze.

"You – you want to tell them about us? Are you sure?"

It was Jane's turn to freeze.

"Why? Are you not sure?" She felt her heart rate increase.

"No, I'm sorry. I mean, yes, I'm sure. I just was not expecting you to want to tell everyone so soon."

Jane smirked.

"Is this why you don't guess? Because you're so bad at it? Shame."

Maura threw a piece of her scone at Jane.

"Okay, okay. Yeah, I don't see any reason to wait. I'm ready. I've kind of _been_ ready, ya know?"

"Me too. Tonight then?"

Jane nodded.

"How long do you think it'll take my mom to bring up grandchildren?"

"You're assuming she hasn't already?"

Jane nearly choked on her tea.

"What?! She what?! With you?! About us?! When?!"

Maura covered her face to try to stifle her laughter. It didn't work.

Jane just sat and watched her girlfriend in disbelief.

"Your sense of humor shows up at the most unexpected times. It's disturbing," Jane huffed.

This just set Maura off into another fit of giggles.

* * *

The second half of the afternoon had passed as perfectly as the first. The women were nearly done gathering everything they would need for dinner.

"This is our first official day as a couple," Maura said as she and Jane walked hand in hand.

"It is. Does it feel weird?"

Maura thought for a moment. "Only in the way that all new relationships feel a little weird at the very beginning. The shyness. The uncertainty."

Jane nodded in agreement. "Part of me feels like I'm just shopping with my best friend like we've done a thousand times…and part of me feels…"

Maura looked up to see what Jane was going to say only to see Jane leaning down to kiss her. There in the middle of Boston Common in front of hundreds of strangers, Jane kissed her girlfriend on the lips like it too was something they had done a thousand times.

They pulled away, each smiling at what they had just done.

"And part of me feels weird," Jane finished. "But a very good weird."

"The best weird," Maura added as she pulled Jane towards all the leafy greens she hated.

* * *

Jane hadn't realized how much she missed Rizzoli Family dinners. The home cooked meal, sharing it with everyone she loved; it definitely made her homesick. She even missed cooking with her mom. She was actually happy when Angela burst into Maura's house already talking a mile a minute about what she was going to make and how happy she was to have her Janie home for dinner.

Maura couldn't remember the last time she had been this excited for Sunday dinner. It was always nice when everyone came over and she was thankful to still be included, but it never felt the same without Jane there. It was like the heart of the group was missing. Maura's heart, anyway. Sundays were when Maura missed Jane the most.

After dessert, Jane looked at Maura and raised her eyebrows. Maura nodded and squeezed Jane's hand under the table.

"Hey, everyone," Jane said as she stood from her chair. She rubbed the scars on her hands and took a deep breath. She could feel Maura place a steadying hand on her leg. "I just wanted to thank you all for coming to dinner tonight. I've missed all of you and it really means a lot to me that you're all here tonight. Well, a lot to me and a lot to Maura. And I wanted to thank you all for always including Maura and treating her like family, especially since I've been in Virginia." Jane paused and looked at Maura. "It's very difficult to be away from the woman I love, but it's comforting to know that you all take such great care of her for me."

There was a stunned silence at the table. Each person quickly looked to the other, all of them seemingly asking "did she just…?"

Jane took Maura's hand as she stood next to her girlfriend.

"Yes," Jane said. "Maura and I are dating now."

The stunned silence continued for several more seconds until Frankie broke the trance and congratulated them. Nina jumped up and gave them each a hug. Korsak and Kiki cheered. Tommy and TJ were all smiles as they clapped. Ron too offered his congratulations.

Over the noise Jane heard Angela say, "But Janie I asked and you said—"

Jane shot her a quick look and Angela stopped talking before rushing over to embrace both women.

"Oh, my girls! I'm so happy for both of you!"

"Thank you so much, Angela."

"Thanks, Ma."

"So, what does this mean? Are you coming home? You're not going to take Maura away from us, are you? Are you going to be a detective again?"

"Ma, ma, easy with the questions." Jane squirmed away from her mother's Vulcan death grip. "Calm down. Let's just enjoy this, okay?"

"Jane's right," Maura chimed in. "We're focused on just enjoying this new step."

"Oh, all right," Angela conceded. "I'm just so happy for my girls."

"We know. Thanks again, Ma."

The announcement called for another round of coffee and dessert. After TJ fell asleep at the table, everyone started to make their way home.

Maura was wiping down the kitchen counters when Jane brought the last of the dishes into the kitchen.

"Hey, Ron headed home, so I'm gonna walk Ma back to the guesthouse, okay? Let her be all motherly for a few minutes." Jane rolled her eyes. "I love you. Be right back."

Maura kissed Jane's cheek. "I love you too."

Twenty minutes later Jane came back wishing she had come back 15 minutes sooner. She knows her mother means well, but she can only take so much.

Maura was washing dishes in the sink, her back to Jane. Jane wrapped her arms around Maura from behind and rested her chin on the doctor's shoulder.

"First mention of grandchildren. Check."

Jane felt Maura's body react with a small laugh, but she didn't say anything. A few seconds later Jane heard a small sniffle instead. She moved around to face Maura and saw that she already had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Maur? What is it?"

"It's – it's been really hard without you here."

Jane wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and guided them to the couch.

Maura wiped her cheeks and tried to compose herself, but it was useless.

"I missed you so much. It wasn't the same. I tried to work and go on with my life, but I couldn't. I didn't know what to do. I was lost. Lonely. I was so sad, but also hurt. And angry. Part of me was so angry at you for leaving. For leaving me."

Jane hated herself. She watched Maura's body shake with tears and her heart broke. She had done this. She had caused Maura all of this pain.

"Maura, I am so sorry. I never should have left. It's the biggest mistake I've ever made. You have every right to be angry. I'm so sorry that I hurt you."

Maura shook her head.

"It's okay, Jane. I'm not telling you this to get an apology from you or make you feel badly. You didn't do it on purpose. We talked about why you left and it's okay. We both could have prevented all of this. I don't blame you."

"I blame me. I ran away. You needed me and I wasn't here. I'll never forgive myself for that. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could make it up to you. I'll try to. I'll try to every day."

Maura reached out and took Jane's hands in hers.

"You already have. You—"

"It's not enough."

"Jane. I love you. This was just the journey that we had to take. We've reached the destination I've always wanted. That's what's important to me. It's just…all of these unresolved feelings from when you left…they wouldn't go away. I hadn't anticipated blurting them out the way I did, but with dinner and everything suddenly feeling so _normal_…I don't want to go back to how it feels when you're not here."

Jane leaned forward and pressed her lips to each of Maura's tear stained cheeks before giving her a soft kiss on the lips.

"I love you so much," she breathed as she placed her forehead to Maura's. "I promise it won't feel like that ever again. I know we have a lot to talk about before next Sunday, but I promise, _I promise_, you'll never feel like that again. You will never, _ever_ hurt like that again."

Maura nodded before connecting their lips once more.

"I know."

It was about thirty minutes later when Maura finally spoke again. They were still on the couch; wrapped in each other's arms.

"Jane, earlier when you made the announcement, Angela said she asked you about something before, but you intentionally cut her off. What was she talking about?"

Jane was quiet for a moment. She knew she had to be honest and tell Maura everything.

"You know all the pain and hurt you felt that we just talked about? Well, I kind of knew about it already. Part of it, at least."

"I don't understand. I never told you. On all of our phone calls and texts I remember clearly masking all of those emotions and attempting to present quite a different picture to you."

"You did. And you did a really good job. Which is why when Ma told me how you rarely left the house and how you were losing weight, it devastated me. And that's when she asked – she asked if we were more than friends because it seemed like, to her, you were suffering from a broken heart. She thought we had broken up."

Maura looked at Jane's face and saw sad brown eyes staring back at her.

"You knew?"

"Not for very long. Just a couple weeks. You remember that night you called me when you got home from Hope's clinic? When I asked you about the Hyman Bloom exhibit?"

Maura nodded.

"Ma had called me earlier that night. That's when I started planning this visit and everything that's come with it. The fact that you hadn't gone to the Hyman Bloom exhibit after droning on and on about it," Jane playfully rolled her eyes to get a smile from Maura, "confirmed to me that you weren't as happy as you were leading me to believe."

Maura sat quietly as she replayed the last couple of weeks in her head; her brow furrowed in concentration.

"You told me that night how much you missed me. I was surprised you shared your emotions so freely."

"I was hoping that if I opened the door you would walk through it."

"And you started texting me a lot more. Our calls got longer."

"I couldn't stand the thought of you being sad. I thought it might help. Ma said you started smiling more. Frankie said you went out with him and Nina. I could hear the change in your voice."

"You did all of that – all of this – for me because I was sad?"

"I would do anything to make you happy. I had been thinking about finally telling you I was in love with you. Ma's phone call was the kick in the ass I needed. I knew exactly how you were feeling because I felt the same way."

"You did? You never said anything."

Jane chuckled.

"We're so alike sometimes. I didn't want you to know how sad I was either. But I was. I went to work early, stayed late. I didn't socialize with anyone. Stayed in my apartment. Probably drank too much beer." Jane shrugged. "It just didn't seem worth it without you."

Maura cupped Jane's cheek and kissed her several times.

"We're quite the pair," Maura said smiling. "I think what we've learned from this very long conversation tonight is that we need to start telling each other how we feel, even if it's difficult or painful. Can we agree on that? I don't want to keep anything from you anymore."

"Agreed. I want this – us – so much. I'll do whatever it takes."

"Can we also agree that you moving was something neither of us wanted and the results of it are no one's fault and no one is to blame?"

Jane made a sound that could only be described as a growl.

"Jane…? I don't want you blaming yourself or feeling like you need to continually apologize for something. It's just as much my doing as it is yours. I don't want this hanging over our heads. I want to move past it. Together."

Maura could see Jane clenching and unclenching her jaw. She ran her fingertips over Jane's forearm.

Jane gave Maura a curt nod. "Okay."

"Thank you." Maura brought Jane's hand to her lips and kissed the back of it. "Jane, I'm really not looking forward to next Sunday. What are we going to do?"

"I'm not looking forward to it either, but I have some ideas for the coming months, so I don't want you to worry. But for right now," Jane pressed her lips to Maura's, "I want to spend the next few days with you like a normal couple in one of those annoyingly happy new relationship bubbles." Another kiss. "How does that sound?"

Maura smiled into another kiss.

"That sounds perfect."


	7. Chapter 7

I hope everyone is staying self and healthy! Extra time at home means extra time to write. I hope you guys enjoy the new chapter! Thank you for all the continued reviews and follows!

* * *

Still stuck on her school schedule, Jane was the first to wake on Monday morning. She laid in bed and admired how beautiful her girlfriend was before she untangled herself from Maura's arms. As she was making coffee, she decided she and Maura needed to go on a road trip. Jane immediately went to the pantry and began to pack snacks and other odds and ends for their journey.

Jane was sitting on the couch dressed and ready to go when Maura came downstairs. She noticed the bags Jane had packed sitting on the counter.

"What's all this?"

Jane got up and switched off the TV as she made her way towards her girlfriend.

"Hey. I didn't hear you come downstairs. Good morning." She wrapped Maura in her arms and gave her a slow kiss.

Maura couldn't help but smile at the sweet greeting first thing in the morning.

"Good morning, Jane," she said, leaning in for another kiss. "So…?" Maura asked nodding towards the bags on the counter.

"Oh, right," Jane said, momentarily distracted by the beautiful woman in her arms. "I thought we could go on a road trip today."

"What did you have in mind?"

"I know it's a bit chilly, but I was thinking The Cape? We could be tourists for the day. Explore together."

Maura looked into the twinkling brown eyes and hopeful expression of her girlfriend and knew she could never deny her anything.

"That sounds like a great idea! Do I have time to shower and get dressed?"

"Yeah, I'm not in a hurry. I'm just used to being up early for school. So, you're in?"

Jane smiled down at her girlfriend. Maura moved closer and placed a kiss to each dimple she loved so much.

"Give me 30," she said with a wink.

* * *

They wandered around Cape Cod like they had never been there before. They walked the trails and along the shoreline. They went to museums and even found a boat tour to go out on. Jane watched as Maura spoke in detail with the museum curators about the exhibits and listened intently to every "fun fact" Maura shared throughout the day. Jane was reminded just how much she missed Maura's company. They didn't have to be doing anything special, she just missed being in the doctor's presence. The fact that Jane got to hold Maura's hand as they walked through town or hold her close as a particularly strong gust of wind came through was just a bonus.

Maura kept thinking about the perfect day they had just spent together as Jane drove them home. She reached over and took Jane's right hand in hers.

"What made you pick The Cape today? Why didn't you want to travel over to Provincetown while we were there?"

Jane glanced at Maura out of the corner of her eye and smirked.

"Why Provincetown? Because I'm dating a woman now?"

Maura shrugged. "Not necessarily. Provincetown is also a tourist-centric destination. I was just curious."

"It's been ages since I've been to The Cape in general. The area we went to today is just what I thought of first. I hadn't considered driving all the way to P-Town."

Maura nodded.

Several quiet moments passed and then Maura felt Jane's hand fidgeting in hers.

"I don't really think of myself as being gay," Jane said. "Should I now? Is it wrong if I don't?"

Maura squeezed her girlfriend's hand.

"No, Jane. Of course not. Sexuality and sexual preference are complicated and fluid aspects of the human race. It's difficult to succinctly label. It's a very personal preference and decision."

"I've always dated guys. Being with a woman never even crossed my mind until I met you. I mean, I can appreciate and recognize a pretty woman, like actresses and stuff, but I've never been attracted to them. Even now that I'm with a woman, I still don't feel attracted to them. I'm still only attracted to you. I still only want you. I don't know how I could or would label that."

Maura studied her girlfriend's profile. She was surprised by how open and honest Jane was being with her right now. Just a few months ago, Maura never would have imagined that Jane would have voluntarily began this conversation.

"That's okay. You don't have to label it. How you feel doesn't need to have a label."

Jane brought Maura's hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles.

They rode in silence for a few miles until Maura looked over and saw Jane flexing her jaw. She traced her fingertips over the back of Jane's hand.

"Ask, Jane."

Jane exhaled loudly through her nose.

"How…How do you…"

Maura smiled. Nervous Jane was cute, but Maura decided to put her out of her misery.

"In broad terms, because I have dated both men and women, my sexual orientation could be classified as bisexual. However, I find that that label is not entirely accurate and I don't care for the societal categorization many people find themselves confined to. I find the label is more for the one doing the labeling than the one being labeled. Furthermore, because of the fluid nature of human sexuality, I don't believe one label to be accurate at all times."

"So, you don't…"

"No, I don't like to use labels either. I'm just me."

Jane nodded, taking in everything Maura just said. She waited a beat before asking her next question.

"And you've _been you_ with other women?"

Jane glanced quickly at Maura before turning her eyes back to the road.

"Just one, during my second year in college. For less than a month. We never slept together."

Jane released a breath she didn't realize she was holding. She felt relieved. She had hoped, as juvenile as it may seem, that she and Maura would be each other's "firsts."

"Jane, you never knew that about me. Are you okay?"

"I…Yeah, yeah. I guess I've always wondered. You're so open about all that stuff. And you grew up in Europe. I thought maybe…"

Maura watched to see if Jane was going to continue.

"You know this doesn't change anything, right? Whether I knew it or not, I've always been waiting for you. I've never felt for another person what I feel for you. You're my person, Jane."

Jane looked over at Maura and gave her a big smile.

"I love you, Maur."

* * *

They didn't have any plans on Tuesday, so when Frankie text Jane that morning asking if she and Maura wanted to meet up for lunch, she gladly took him up on his offer.

Frankie had caught a case late Sunday night, so they decided to grab lunch in the café, just in case he got called away. As they entered the precinct Maura moved towards the elevators.

"I should only be about 15 to 20 minutes. Kent just has a few items I need to follow up on."

"I'll visit with whoever's around upstairs. We'll be in the café, just come down when you're done."

Jane leaned down and gave Maura a quick kiss before they each stepped into different elevators; Jane going upstairs to the homicide unit, Maura down to the morgue. A wave of nostalgia and sadness at the familiar action washed over Jane.

She was in the bullpen just a few days ago when she came to surprise Maura, but it still felt like she had been gone for a long time. She noticed her and Korsak's desks were still empty, but someone she didn't know was sitting at Frost's desk.

"That's Olson," Frankie said, pulling Jane from her thoughts about her old partner. "He's not bad. Only been in homicide a few weeks. Used to be in Robbery, then Vice before that."

Jane cleared her throat and shook her head to clear her thoughts.

"Good, that's good. They couldn't leave the desk empty forever."

"Yeah." Frankie let the silence linger for a moment. "You know, they haven't replaced you or Korsak yet. There's still a spot here for you, Janie. _You_ could be the other Rizzoli this time around."

Jane smiled at her brother and playfully punched him in the shoulder.

"I will _never_ be the _other_ Rizzoli. Sorry, Little Brother."

Lunch with Frankie and Nina was fun until a new lead came in and they had to head back to BRIC. Maura laced her fingers through her girlfriend's as they made their way out of the precinct.

"You miss it, don't you?"

"Hmm? Oh. Yeah, sometimes. I miss the work. I miss feeling like I'm making an immediate, positive difference. But I don't miss 3:00 a.m. call outs or working 20-hour days."

Maura nodded in agreement, knowing all too well the unpredictability of their work.

"But do you know what I miss most of all?" Jane stopped on the steps of the precinct and pulled the blonde into her arms.

"What's that, Detective?"

"You," Jane said simply before pressing her lips to Maura's. "I miss seeing you every day. I miss working with you. I even miss you excitedly telling me – in far too much detail – about the stomach contents you've just discovered."

Maura laughed at girlfriend's words.

"You secretly love it," Maura teased.

Jane just scrunched up her nose and led them towards the car.

* * *

"I'm exhausted," Jane proclaimed as soon as she walked into house and kicked off her shoes. "Maur, can we take a nap?"

Maura rolled her eyes at Jane's whiney plea.

"Honestly, you're worse than a third grader."

Jane pretended to be offended by Maura's comment before she stomped her foot and let out an exaggerated "pleeease."

"Fine," Maura shook her head as she placed her purse on the kitchen counter.

"Yes!" Jane fist bumped the air before sprinting up the stairs.

Jane was sitting on the edge of the bed watching Maura in the en suite bathroom as she got ready for their nap. They had each already changed into more comfortable clothes – Jane in shorts and an old BPD t-shirt, Maura in yoga pants and a fitted tee. Maura was telling Jane the importance of proper make up removal, even if it was only for a nap. Jane watched quietly as her girlfriend moved about the bathroom, first washing her face, now brushing her hair. She felt her chest tighten at the sight. _She's so beautiful, even when she does the simplest things_, Jane thought. _ She's going to come out of that room, come into this bed, and lay in my arms. _Jane was overwhelmed with emotion at the thought.

"You love me."

It took Jane a second to realize she said that out loud.

Maura froze and met Jane's eyes. She put her hairbrush down and flipped off the bathroom light before making her way over to Jane. Jane moved her legs so Maura could stand between them. Maura placed a finger under Jane's chin and connected their lips in a slow and deep kiss. Jane placed her hands on the back of Maura's knees and slowly trailed them up Maura's legs until she wrapped them around Maura's firm ass. Maura ran her hands through her girlfriend's hair as Jane leaned her forehead against Maura's stomach. With one hand still kneading Maura's ass, Jane raised Maura's shirt and began placing open mouthed kisses along Maura's stomach. She could feel Maura's nails on her scalp and hear Maura's shallow breathing.

"Jane…"

They made love for much of the afternoon. It was urgent, but not frantic. Wanting, but not needy. Whispers of adoration and promises of love echoed throughout the room until they fell asleep, naked and sated wrapped in each other's arms.

It was almost 6:30 p.m. when Jane woke up from her nap. She was laying on Maura's chest and could feel her girlfriend's fingertips running through her hair. She sighed happily.

Jane turned her head and looked at Maura with a knowing smirk.

"What's that look for?" Maura asked, slightly smirking herself.

"I don't want to be presumptuous, but I thought that was pretty amazing."

"Mmm. I agree. That nap was a really good idea."

"Maura! Really?!"

Maura laughed a big throaty laugh and it was music to Jane's ears. She sat up on her elbows and leaned in to quiet her girlfriend's giggles with her lips. Maura placed her hand on Jane's cheek as she pulled away.

"It was amazing," Maura said in a soft voice. Her eyes drifted down to Jane's lips before giving her another kiss.

Satisfied with Maura's response, Jane resumed her position laying on Maura's chest. She grabbed Maura's hand and placed it back on her head, silently asking her girlfriend to continue running her fingers through her hair. Maura did so with a smile.

They should get up and do something for dinner, but Maura couldn't find the motivation to get out of bed. She continued to absentmindedly run her fingers through Jane's hair.

"Jane, why are you so different with me?"

"Hmm?"

"You're different with me. You're so…soft. Careful, almost."

Jane blushed and smiled into Maura's chest, knowing exactly what Maura was referring to. Frankie and Angela had made similar comments.

"You squirm away from Angela every time she tries to touch you, but you've always welcomed affection from me. Even initiated it. You're different around me."

Jane began to trace random patterns on Maura's stomach, watching the abdominal muscles flex under her touch.

"That's because you _are_ different, Maur. You always have been. I don't want you to only see the same parts of me everyone else gets to see. You're special. I've never trusted anyone enough to be vulnerable with them or share parts of me with them the way I do with you. Even when we first met, I felt this connection to you that I've never felt before. That sounds cliché, but it's true. It's like I _needed_ to love you; to protect you; to make you happy. You're the reason for everything I do. I wish I could explain it better."

Maura wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"No, no. I think you explained it quite well. I love you."

Jane turned again so she could face her girlfriend. She placed her hand on the back of Maura's neck and pulled her closer.

"I love you so much," Jane breathed against Maura's lips before kissing her.

Jane's leg slid between Maura's as her lips made their way down Maura's neck; all thoughts of dinner and getting out of bed forgotten.

* * *

Author's Note: Well, my lovely readers, we're nearing the end of our story. I think there will be one, maybe two new chapters. More soon... :)


	8. Chapter 8

First, a big thank you to everyone who pointed out my glaring geographical error in the previous chapter! In my head I envisioned them hanging out anywhere from Sandwich to Chatham; Orleans to Falmouth (basically the horizontal section of land, thus excluding Provincetown), but it turns out you guys and Google can't read my mind. Haha! I've since made some updates to Chapter 7 so it makes a bit more sense.

Thank you so much to everyone who has followed, favorited, and reviewed this story. It's the longest and most reviewed story I've ever posted and I'm so thankful for everyone's support and very kind words. It's been wonderful to read everyone's reviews and it truly means a lot to me that so many of you took the time to reach out.

I've always wondered how full, lengthy conversations between our ladies would play out. So often on the show their phones ring, or Angela comes in, or there's some other random interruption. I just wanted to give them the space and the time to breath and express themselves. Thank you all for indulging my "let's have some really big life altering conversations" fanfic.

Stay safe. Stay healthy. XO

* * *

The rest of the week passed far too quickly. Maura skipped her classes, but still volunteered at Hope's clinic on Thursday. When she came home that night, she was exhausted and just wanted to go to sleep. But when she walked into her living room lit only by candles and Jane offering her a glass of wine, she suddenly wasn't so tired. A foot massage on the couch quickly led to the reason why much of their week had been spent indoors.

Maura came downstairs Saturday morning to find Jane cooking them breakfast. She stood for a moment admiring her girlfriend move about her kitchen with ease; knowing where everything was kept as if she lived there. _Someday_, Maura thought.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Maura said as she wrapped her arms around Jane from behind and rested her cheek between her shoulder blades.

Jane smiled at the pet name as she leaned into Maura's embrace. Since they slept together the level of affection between them had noticeably increased. Jane found herself reaching for Maura whenever she was near, constantly needing to be in contact with the other woman. The pet names were something Jane never thought she'd like, but she loved the way they rolled off of Maura's tongue.

"Hi, love. How did you sleep?"

Maura sighed contentedly into Jane's back. "Like a…log?"

Jane chuckled. "Are you asking me how you slept?"

"Is that the right expression? I slept like a log?"

Jane turned in Maura's arms and saw the questioning expression on the doctor's face. She leaned down and gave her a kiss. Maura was the most beautiful woman Jane had ever seen, but right now she was so cute Jane could hardly stand it.

"Yes," she said smiling, "like a log."

They were sitting at the dining table eating breakfast when Maura broke the comfortable silence.

"I can't believe you have to go back tomorrow."

Jane reached over and ran her fingers over Maura's hand.

"I wish I could stay."

Maura looked into the sincere brown eyes staring back and her and slipped her hand into her girlfriend's.

"I know." Maura squeezed her hand trying to keep her emotions at bay. "What…what are we doing to do?"

"Well, first," Jane put down her toast and took a quick sip of her orange juice before taking Maura's other hand in hers, "we're not going to be sad, okay? I'm going to miss you like crazy, but I'm so excited about our future together. So that's what we're going to focus on, okay? The good stuff."

Jane waited for Maura to nod in agreement.

"I've waited my whole life for this. Us. You. And I'm so happy. I just want to look forward and finally plan my life with you," Jane continued.

Maura wiped a happy tear from her cheek. She had to admit Jane's outlook was comforting and exciting.

"Focusing on the good stuff," Maura nodded forcefully.

Jane gave Maura a quick peck on the lips.

"That's my girl. Now, the best part about my job is that I finally have a consistent schedule and my weekends are always free. Depending on when you're on call or if you can get Kent or Pike to cover for you, we can see each other pretty frequently. It's less than an eight-hour drive, less than a two-hour flight. Or…we could meet in the middle."

Maura thought for a moment. "New York?"

"Yeah! Wouldn't that be fun? And Thanksgiving is just a couple weeks away, so I'll be back in Boston for sure then. And then I'll be on break for Christmas too. Then there are three-day weekends and spring break."

Maura cupped Jane's cheek, smiling at her girlfriend's near rambling.

"You seem to have given this quite a bit of thought."

"Mm-hmm. And I'm not done yet."

She kissed the tip of Maura's nose.

"The school year ends just before Memorial Day. I have a week off, then the summer session runs until the end of July. That weekend, as soon as school's out, I'm moving back to Boston and I'm going to live…"

Jane shrugged her shoulders and looked around as she tapped her finger on her chin like she was trying to come up with an answer.

Maura laughed at Jane's antics before wrapping her arms around her neck and kissing the warm skin.

"Here. You'll live here."

Jane ran her hands down Maura's arms.

"I'd love too!"

Maura peppered kisses from Jane's neck up to her lips. The slow kiss temporarily distracted them from their current conversation.

"Mmmm. I will obviously need to take your lips back to Virginia with me."

Maura smiled and kissed Jane once more.

"Now, Miss Know It All, what exactly will you be doing when you come back to Boston? Do you want to be a detective again?"

Jane thought for a moment as she held both of Maura's hands in her lap.

"I don't think so," Jane spoke slowly as she continued to gather her thoughts. "I actually really like teaching. I didn't think I would, but I really do. There's a waiting list to be transferred to the Boston Field Office that I've already added my name to. Agent Davies said they have some online classes that I could teach too. And I spoke to Sergeant Reynolds last Friday about possible teaching opportunities at the academy."

Maura listened intently as Jane told her everything she's been doing and thinking about in anticipation of her return to Boston. She was touched that Jane had spent so much time thinking about their future. Lost in her thoughts, Maura didn't realize Jane was calling her name.

"Maur?"

Maura blinked a few times to regain her focus. "I'm sorry. I know I teased you just a moment ago, but I can't believe how much thought you've put into this already. I feel so unprepared."

Jane waved her hand dismissively.

"I've been planning all of this for a few weeks, remember? I knew it was coming before you did. You've only had a couple of days."

"Are you sure about homicide? I know they haven't replaced you yet. It would be wonderful to work with you again."

Jane considered Maura's question and took a deep breath.

"Yeah. After the going away party, I kind of made my peace with it, ya know? It felt like it was time to move on. I accepted it. And to go back now," Jane ran her hand through her hair, "I…I don't want that life for us."

Confusion spread across Maura's face.

"I…I've never had someone to come home to before. I want to do that every night – come home to you. I don't want you to worry about getting a phone call that I've been shot or some serial killer has taken me hostage. And I want you to be safe too. You were always in danger because of me. I don't want that life anymore. I need you to come home to me too."

"Jane…"

"Plus, I might have already spoken to the brass about an upcoming vacant sergeant position in the cold case unit."

Maura shook her head and gave Jane a kiss.

"You amaze me," Maura breathed against Jane's lips.

* * *

Rizzoli Family Dinner turned into Rizzoli Family Lunch so Jane would have time drive back to Virginia. The best part of having lunch instead of dinner was that they could watch the Patriots game (Angela usually objected when the Patriots were the Sunday Night Football game). It almost felt like Thanksgiving – family, football, and way too much food.

"I can't wait until we can do this every Sunday again," Jane commented as she brought more dishes into the kitchen.

"We _do_ do this every Sunday. You're just not here," Frankie teased as he dodged Jane's playful punch.

"Janie, you'll be back for good in August?" Angela asked.

"Yeah, Ma. Well, the end of July technically."

"I'm so excited!" Angela beamed as she pulled Jane into a hug.

"I know. Me too, Ma."

After dessert and once the game ended, Jane hugged Korsak and Kiki as they left, promising to see them both at Thanksgiving. She said her long goodbyes to Tommy, Frankie, Ron, and Angela before heading outside with Maura.

They interlaced their fingers as they walked to Jane's rental car. The somber feeling in the air was palpable.

"I didn't think Ma would let me leave," Jane laughed quietly.

Maura agreed, smiling sadly. She brought Jane's hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

"Do you have everything?"

Jane leaned back against the car and pulled Maura flush against her.

"Yeah, I double checked."

They stood wrapped in each other's arms; neither wanted to speak and begin their goodbye. Maura ran her fingertips down Jane's cheek before molding her lips to the taller woman's.

As the kiss ended, Jane buried her face in Maura's neck. The tears she had fought so hard against now fell freely.

"Hey," Maura said softly as she wiped away her own tears. "Good stuff only, remember?" She felt Jane nod against her neck as long arms tightened around her.

Maura ran her fingers through Jane's hair for a few minutes before she spoke again.

"Have you found any good boutiques in Virginia?"

Jane pulled away and wiped her eyes as she looked at Maura.

"Really? What are talking about?"

"Boutiques, Jane. Nice, charming shops. What about restaurants?"

Jane was utterly confused at Maura's sudden line of questioning. The smirk Maura was giving her wasn't helping.

"I have no idea. Why are you asking me this now?"

"Well, I was wondering if you had any recommendations for when I'm staying in Virginia."

Jane froze.

"Staying in…? Maura Dorthea Isles, if you do not tell me what you're talking about right now!"

Maura laughed at Jane's escalating confusion before giving her pouty lips a kiss.

"Yesterday you said the best part about your job was your schedule. Well, the best part about my job is that I'm the boss and I have a direct line to the governor. I called him on Tuesday when you were in the bullpen with Frankie. While he wasn't too keen on the idea at first, I reminded him that I did not take my full sabbatical as originally planned and that it always makes the Commonwealth – and the governor – look good when its members have worked with a prestigious agency such as the FBI."

Jane's eyes went wide.

"What? What does that mean? When?"

"Not for a while. May, June, and July of next year. I've already arranged my last day to be your last day of school. We'll come home together."

Jane kissed Maura with enthusiasm before picking her up and spinning her around several times.

"This is amazing! You're going to be in Virginia for three months?" Jane's smile stretched from ear to ear.

"Yes! I've consulted with the bureau on a number of cases over the years and they've always tried to lure me into a more permanent position, so they were very open to the idea of acquiring my services for three months. I'll be on "loan" to both the FBI and the Commonwealth of Virginia. I'll get to work closely with a few pathologists whose work I've admired and it will be a good opportunity for Kent to run the office here."

Maura couldn't contain her own smile as she watched Jane's eyes twinkle.

"You seem to have given this quite a bit of thought," Jane teased. "Wait, did you know about this when we talked yesterday?"

"No," Maura shook her head. "The governor emailed me back yesterday evening. I wanted to wait to tell you. All good stuff, right?"

Jane nodded and gathered Maura in her arms.

"All good stuff." Jane inhaled deeply, savoring the essence of her girlfriend. "Thank you."

The excitement died down as they realized it really was time to say goodbye.

Jane sighed and ran her hands down Maura's back.

"You have to tell me to go. You have to tell me or I won't go. I can't…"

Maura pulled back from their embrace and kissed Jane's cheek.

"Go. Go so you can come back to me."

Jane captured Maura's lips again in a passionate and lingering kiss.

"Two weeks?"

Maura nodded as she pressed her forehead to Jane's.

"I'll see you in two weeks. I love you."

"I love you. I love you so much."

Jane got into the car and rolled the window down. Maura leaned in and gave her one more kiss.

"Drive safely."

"I will. Bye, babe."

Maura reluctantly stepped away and watched as Jane pulled out of the driveway and away from Beacon Hill.

Jane continually checked the rear view mirror as she drove away. The image of Maura became smaller and smaller. She reminded herself that although she was driving away from Maura right now, she was actually driving towards her future. Their future. Together.

The end.


End file.
